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Today we review a movie about a bear. This is not just any kind of bear but the most awesome bear we've seen in a very long time. His name is Ted, he's a talking teddybear, and he's one bad motherfucker.
The movie Ted starts off with the backstory of the title character, revealing how his owner wished him to life just at the right time at Christmas. The kid, John, immediately shows off his new best friend to his parents, in other words Ted's miraculous coming to life is not kept secret at all. Ted becomes a celebrity and goes on talk shows and whatnot, but being a true friend he sticks with John despite the fame. Then we cut to present day as we learn that Ted's fifteen minutes of fame ended quickly and, as the narrator states, no one gives a shit that he's a talking teddybear any more. So he's living the life of a long forgotten former celebrity in John's house spending his days smoking pot and watching TV. Meanwhile John is about to get married to his girlfriend who thinks that Ted is irresponsible and is a bad influence on John, so she wants the bear to move out and get a job, which leads to a series of absurd events that absolutely need to be seen.
Ted is a rated R comedy and it's absolutely brilliant. Ted himself is an irresponsible party animal with a bad attitude and is an excellent source of twisted humor throughout the film. Whether it's flipping the bird to the thunder, insulting a store manager in hopes of getting fired, taking hookers into his best friend's apartment, or even beating the guy to a pulp he's always a good source of laughter.
The film comes from the creator of Family Guy, and it shows. Seth MacFarlane himself provides the voice of Ted and brings the character to life in a spectacular way. Other cast members include Mark Wahlberg as John who does a good job portraying the manchild who treads a thin line between sticking to his troublemaker best friend and trying to lead a responsible life, and Mila Kunis who plays John's overly responsible girlfriend Lori. We also get Patrick Stewart narrating the opening in truly entertaining fashion and Giovanni Ribisi playing a bit if a psycho who wants to buy Ted for his own son. Needless to say the movie turns a bit dark at one point but overall it remains a fun, entertaining joyride for fans of rated R comedies.
Honestly this is the best movie we've seen at the cinema all year long so far. We highly recommend it to everyone. Just bear (no pun intended) one thing in mind: after you watch this movie, you will want to see Flash Gordon as soon as you get home from the cinema. Ted pays tribute to the aforementioned classic from the 80s and does it extremely well. The film also comes with an excellent soundtrack including a couple of wonderful 80s songs which we absolutely loved to hear.
Finally, we'd like to close our coverage with an open letter to the title character.
If you're still fed up with your job at the grocery store which you clearly did not want in the first place, there is currently an open position at bearwithadeathlist.co.uk for a bear. There is no job description as the website name speaks for itself. We believe that a foul mouthed badass motherfucker bear with a bad attitude and a very clear love for the 80s such as yourself would be a useful addition to our staff. If you're interested, please leave a comment on our facebook page. You can bring your own list of you wish.
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