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In 2008 independent video producer and internet critic Doug Walker created the Ask That Guy With The Glasses, or in short, the Ask That Guy. This was a dark comedy show about a psychopath who answered stupid questions in the most inappropriate way possible. The show ended in late 2014 and it seems to be dead for good. Fortunately the old episodes are available in the archive on the Channel Awesome website so you can go back and watch all of them any time you wish. In case you've never heard of Ask That Guy, allow us to offer a retrospective summary of the character and his show.
Ask That Guy knew how to make an entrance, saying hello in a different language every episode; this may have included Klingon and Wookie by the sound of it. He made a habit of inventing words like murdercide and was obsessed with hamsterjelly and a hummel figurine (which he pulled out of his ass on episode 25), also onions (which was elevated to epic heights in episode 59) and Roger Rabbit. He hated Twilight and people who wanted to borrow sugar. He promoted cannibalism and human sacrifice, insulted everyone from Ted Turner to child actors and especially the audience, constantly made sexist jokes, and he made out with or abused himself (often using his signature pipe on either his dick or his ass) on multiple occasions. He also committed mass murder in an orphanage.
As he himself would have said, we “know what you're thinking”. You're thinking: how could such a terrible person have a fanbase?
No, actually, if you read this website, you're clearly not thinking that. If you read our site that means you love dark humor, and therefore you find Ask That Guy to be a likable, heroic role model. We know there's a lot of you out there, because when Ask That Guy offered five questions to the audience to answer in his stead in episode 30, you produced ten minutes worth of responses that are all just as fucked up as anything Ask That Guy himself could have come up with. And it was glorious!
The show peaked between episodes 40 and 46 (more on that later) around the 4-episode December special edition of all things. To be fair, if you ask questions related to the holiday season from a devil-worshiping mass-murdering sexist psychopath, you're liable to get some really messed up and thereby hilarious answers, and that's exactly what happened.
The show never managed to reach the same heights after that, but it never really went downhill, either. It remained fun and fresh, even when it started recycling old questions, and even produced our second favorite episode of all time (more on that later). Even after episode 60 the show produced memorable moments like the time when Ask That Guy admitted to being a brony, or the live session in which he invented the Voltrongina, or when he headbanged to Bohemian Rhapsody in a way that put Wayne's World to shame. Sadly, the show went on indefinite hiatus in 2012 following episode 69 (which, miraculously, did not contain any 69 jokes), until in late 2014 Ask That Guy came back only to be immediately killed off in the series finale:
It was a sad day for fans all over the world, and Ask That Guy will be sorely missed. He will also be frowned upon as a liar, because in Episode 47 he promised that Mr. T would take over in the event of his untimely demise, and that didn't happen. Disappointing...
In closing, let us reflect upon the years of inappropriate and insanely funny dark jokes with the following list of our top 8 favorite episodes. This was a very hard list to compile. After all, Ask That Guy gave us so many memorable moments that would deserve a spot in the Dark Humor Hall Of Fame, like when he gave Wile E. Coyote advice with the Roadrunner, or when he posted a job advert for a scrotum washer, or when he blew up his old set, or when he gave himself a heart attack, and many many more. If you're a fan and find your favorite episode missing from the list, well, that's too bad. This is our list, deal with it.
So without further ado, our top 8 episodes of Ask That Guy With The Glasses. Rest in peace you mass-murdering sexist psychopath. We will miss you.
8. Episode 6: in which Ask That Guy discusses the ass-scratching fairy. Also, cabbage soup.
7. Episode 51: in which Ask That Guy borrows from South Park and reveals that Mickey Mouse is evil incarnate. Also, he visits an orphanage with spectacular results.
6. Episode 37: in which Ask That Guy discusses how bullets are made of ice cream.
5. Episode 42: in which Ask That Guy discusses whether the Jedi Force Choke can be used to commit suicide. Also, chess.
4. Episode 43: in which Ask That Guy dons a Santa hat and explains how Santa is a rapist. Also, suicide advice for the holidays.
3. Episode 2: in which Ask That Guy recommends the T1000 from Terminator 2 to be the President of the United States, and reveals the real fuel used by Optimus Prime.
2. Episode 58: in which the Devil himself guest narrates, feeling that the episode was so fucked up it warranted his intervention. Also, quotes from Commando, and a robotic machine gun dick.
1. Episode 44: in which Bennett the Sage guest hosts and turns out to be infinitely more fucked up than Ask That Guy himself.
The absolute best episode as far as we're concerned. In fact, remember when we complained that Mr. T did not show up to replace Ask That Guy and continue the show? Fuck that, bring in Sage to run the show! Please? Pretty please? We'll pay you in orphan blood.
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